RACCOON EYES
I can only tell the story how I remember it and it is through the eyes of a 25 year old Reckless Girl. At this particular time i had been homeless in Brockton for at least 6 months. This particular night i had been walking around and a couple acquaintances stopped and picked me up. The two guys I knew were in the front, one was Willy and I remember his name and face because he rhymed everything he said with his thick southern drawl. "if you (we'll say "kiss") the dik I'll flick the Bic" lol! He did NOT say this to me, I knew him through Derek and Paul who are well known and not guys to be fkd with in Brockton, the other guy was Ron or Rob. I knew they were shady dudes, I wouldn't have been hanging out with them otherwise. I was pretty shady myself. A little tid bit about being protected through long term friendships/relationships by Derek and Paul was that at any bar in the city I went to, when I would sit down if there was a man on the stool to either side of me they would move and no man would sit in those two stools...lol... the part about that that sucked was trying to yell over the stools to talk to people, they would talk to me just not get caught sitting next to me.
Ok back to the story. They were in a big pickup truck with a big back seat. Willy and whatshisface were in the front, they had to pull the front seat forward so I could get (trapped) in the back. I was an active drug user at that time and they also had addictions to the same substance. There were two other people in the back seat with me, i didn't know either of them, a black man in his 20s and some junkie facepicking white chic. I knew they would want something and this was my hustle, i was the middle man and got money and/or free drugs from every play. They told me they wanted something, i remember it being worth like $100 or $150. I called my dude who walked down to a park i was not familiar with (i was not very familiar with the south side at all). When my guy was walking toward us through the park i was telling them to give me their money and let me out. They ignored me, I was getting pissed cuz this was an obvious sign that some shit was going down. My guy came up to the passenger side and at that point the young black man was in front passenger seat. He handed my guy money who started cursing at us (me) and walked away. The young kid said "hey he took my $3!" I was just finding out what happened. "WTF you mean $3??? You tried to beat my dude! The three dollars is his for you wasting his time. And fk you for fkn up my situation!" They were talking about money at their house and getting stuff. I wasn't feelin it. But I was stuck in the back, even yelled at them to let me out a few times. But we got to apartment, I think we were on the South side. I only know North side people and neighborhoods, so I was out of my element with two dudes I know I cant trust and a couple I don't know. Time to dip out. They kept asking if I had anything and I kept denying having anything on me. They knew how I was back then and didn't buy it. One messed up part of this story is that we had 1/2 ounce of stuff at the place I was staying on Main St., but we had been chillin for days, I got bored and wanted to go hustle. When quitting all those old behaviors I was surprised to find out I have a separate addiction to hustling. Love that chase, and I loved to see how much I could make for myself out of every deal. I say I don't know math well, but if you put a math question relating to money and grams I got u. LOL
So now we were on this third floor of a triple decker. They kept saying they knew I was lying and had shit. I realized then that there was no money anywhere and they wanted me to get them high. So I quietly left. When I got outside I had to pee, I went in the neighbors yard between a fence and bush. I forgot! At the apartment was the young black mans sister. She was GI fkn Normous!!! I have always compared her to a very scary large gorilla who could knock out any guy I know. She was outside calling my name. She couldn't see me peeing, if I had thought I needed to escape without being seen I could and would have. But I had no idea there was any problem other than me being pissed they tried to fk over my guy.
I stepped out from behind the fence to where she was standing in the street with now a couple white junkie looking girls including the girl in the car. Im not scared of shit, and even if I am the best way to avoid conflict with an asshole who is trying to scare or intimidate you is to act fearless. I walked right up to her and asked what she needed. She started yelling at me to give her the $3 I stole from her brother. I explained I hadn't even TOUCHED it and he deserved losing it to my guy for making him come out for some BS. I had no idea how strong she felt about those three dollars.
She fkn clocked me! Her hands were the size of freakin baseball gloves! She started punching me in the eyes, she evened it out, couple on one side, couple to my other eye. At one point I heard my jaw break. The whole time her and her junkie friends were telling me to give them my shit. I continued to say I had none. To give it up to them because they threaten and follow through with violence would show I was a punk! Then not only would they know how to get my drugs everyone else would too. The white girls were holding my arms and legs flat on the pavement in the middle of the street while she continued serving ridiculously painful blow after blow. At one point I looked up and saw a kid watching from his porch across the street. I looked at him and just said "help". He just sat there and watched. At one point one of the junkies had a boxcutter in her hand and stabbed me in the face with it. It got to the point it was unbearable after about 30 40 punches to my face with my head against the pavement. I did not have to continue this, I decided to give up my drugs. $10 worth of shit I had in my bra. They took it and ran inside like they found a fkn bag of money.
At this point I just want to get out of there. This was not my neighborhood so not a safe situation. I grabbed my purse and when I turned to get my flipflops the guy from the porch was in the road with me and handed them to me. I asked him why he didnt help me, he apologized and said the kid that created this whole mess was a blood (or crip) idk which and he was scared for his safety if he helped me against that gang members sister. Whatever, I grabbed my flip flops and started running down the street. It was like 2 or 3 in the morning. Out of nowhere some nice white couple are coming down the road! OMG thank god! I was waving and running toward their car thinking they would let me in and bring me somewhere safe. As they drove up to me with complete horror on their faces they aplogized for not letting me in their car but they had called police. Fk! Now I was running faster!! I had warrents!! So I find the field and ran across it thinking it would put me far enough away that police wouldnt find me. Just as I got to the sidewalk on the other side of the park quite a few cruisers pulled up. They were asking if I was ok, need to sit or lay down? All I could think about is that I had to get back to the 1/2 ounce and my people who will prob give me free shit cuz they'd feel bad. As the police kept asking who had done this to me I was telling them I was fine and I didn’t know who did it (which police hate when you do that) but needed a ride to my friends house on the North side. I was also hoping to be done with this gathering since what they clearly did not know is that I had surrender warrants I had been on the run from for almost a year. They told me they would not bring me to my friends house, we were waiting for the ambulance. I remember telling the officer who said that "if you won't give me a ride I'll walk. Thanks anyway, I don't need the hospital". Most of these officers were at least somewhat familiar with me, not so much on the south side or I would have been on my way to booking. This part is a very clear memory. The cop was perplexed, looking horrified he asked if I had seen what my face looked like. Thats when I looked down, obviously couldnt see my face but a lot of blood had been coming out of my head. Mouth, nose and at that time I had still not realized that the junkie hoe who was in the truck had stabbed me in the face with a boxcutter. The officer explained that I had a hole in my face and something wrong with my head. Back to me looking down.... blood EVERYWHERE! All over my clothes and since I was running with a hole in my face my pants were even soaked with blood. Again said I was fine and didn't know who did it or where it happened. He grabbed my arm and pulled me against his cruiser so he could show me my face in his side mirror. Yup, I was pretty fucked up. Since she had crushed part of my jaw the broken bones made my head swell making me look like the elephant man (that is what my friend described my head as when he grabbed me that day.) I told him I didn't care and began walking away from what was now a group of about 15 cops all excited cuz I had been stabbed. That same officer called out to an officer close to me to grab me, I got feisty and was saying they couldn't make me go to the hospital. The cop just said, "well you are going to the hospital, I don't care if you dont want to go, now you are detained”. He handcuffed me and we waited for the ambulance.
I remember being in some kind of machine like an MRI when I got to the hospital, it was a brain scan to be sure I had no brain bleeds, which I did not. The nurse brought me from test to my room. She told me the results would take a bit but no emergency brain bleeds they could see yet. She told me I had to wait there for someone to come stitch up the hole in my face. Right below my lip to my right the boxcutter had sliced through my lip and my tooth was exposed. I was more worried about getting back with friends and getting high. Didn't want to wait around. As she was leaving, expecting I wanted to wait for my stitches I asked her if I was allowed to leave since I had been detained to come. She told me I should stitch up the hole in my face but she can't make me and assured me no one would call police if I left. I had already called the loser I was dating and my friend Gregg and they were out front with the mini van running. She left the room and went right down the hall, I grabbed my clothes, slipped on my Sketcher sneakers and booked it down the hall wearing nothing but my jonny and sneakers. They were right out the door with the door open, I jumped in and told my friend to get me out of there!!!
We went to Greggs house where, by that time they had done all the drugs that had been there when I left but once everyone found out how bad i had gotten fkd up they all started popping in. I was basically a freak show. There was also disbelief in anyone fkn me up that bad. But I was out of my element, out of my neighborhood and alone, all bad ideas. I didn't really care. Kept taking the drugs being fed to me as everyone gawked at my face in horror, but maybe some relief for them with the realization that I am NOT in fact invincible.
As that day(night?) went on I remember everyone would tell me I need stitches, I had a hole in my face and they could see my tooth. I kept telling everyone I was fine, not bleeding and I will deal with it another time if decide I need to. That converstion happened a lot over about 12 hours. At one point after being there quite a while, I went to the bathroom, I looked at my face in the mirror and exclaimed "OMG Guys! I have a hole in my face! I Need stitches!". They pointed out that they had told me that about a thousand times. So I went, got stitched up and told my scar will be worse because I waited too long. They gave me perks for pain. I jaw was fractured, no broken nose or teeth, thank god, but she really got both eyes good. The white in my eyes was not a thing, every single blood vessel was broken and the white was red. My head was misshapen for a while after. The saddest part of the story is the part when I had to meet my parents so I could have new clothes.
I met my mom and step-dad at the Wendy's. They had asked if I wanted a ride to detox and I said no but wanted to meet for my clothes. It was only two days after I got jumped and I probably looked worse because now my eyes were swollen and dark. I looked like a raccoon and my head still not the right shape yet. The only thing I remember was as my mom was handing me my clothes I had looked up at my dad and he was crying. Looked like he was trying not to start sobbing. I felt bad that he was worried about me, but I still had my own personal demons to run from and couldn't stop. Not for me, not for anyone at that time.
Looking back now...I realize I had no idea then what he was feeling. I have children now, my oldest 23. Thank god they don't seem quite as troubled as I was, but omg, now I imagine if I saw Izaiah all beat up like that, then to hear he was going to stay in that life that would absolutely be heartbreaking. I had no care for myself, my body or my life. That is so sad. Those drugs had me by the throat.
I will leave you with this.....this story brings you right up to the next escapade a couple weeks later! Read 'They are coming to take me away'. Anyway, I will not forget the sadness in his face, as if he had already lost me. I remember, it didn't change the current destructive mission I was on, but those tears were the first time he had told me he loved me in a long time.
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